Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
