The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
