Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
