Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
