we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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