i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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