Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
