Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
