I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
