Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
