Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
