you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
