before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
