Reggie can tackle my bush.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
