Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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