I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
