I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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