omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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