no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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