Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
