Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
