so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
