I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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