Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
