sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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