i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
