My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
