Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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