Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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