they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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