i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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