Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
