She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
