There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
