I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
