so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she peed on how many people?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
