Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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