she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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