I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
