So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
