I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
