All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
