So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
