And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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