just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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