Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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