I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
