oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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