i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
