She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
