How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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